Hail the Conquering Hero

I’ve been participating in fantasy sports for years — both fantasy football and fantasy baseball. I even gave hockey and pro basketball a try. Back in high school I aided my father in a fantasy football league of high school teachers — needless to say, that ended poorly thanks to my supreme domination over most of the coaches.

But for the longest time, I’ve always been the bridesmaid, never the bride. I’ve been John Elway, Dan Marino, the whole Buffalo Bills organization all wrapped up into one. I would flex my muscle in the regular season, but come playoffs my teams will fall — usually big time. Now there were some occasions where I would still finish in the top-five — a second-place finish in fantasy baseball in 2006, a third-place finish — out of six teams — in baseball in 2007 and a couple of fourth-place finishes in several fantasy football leagues in 2007.

Last year, in a football league I finished second in the regular season, only to be bounced in the first round of playoffs. In a baseball league, I finished first in the regular season before falling to fourth in the playoff bracket.
Finally, my run of luck has changed. I can finally proclaim myself as a fantasy sports champion after winning the lone fantasy baseball league I compete in this season.

My team “The Funky Bunch” — in homage to Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch — went into the playoffs as the No. 3 seed in a 12-team league. I first upended the No. 6 seed, 6-4, before pulling an upset of the second seed by the same score. Then came the two-week long championship against the No. 1 seeded team. I wasn’t liking my chances with it begin a two-week long match-up and after I held a slight lead after the first week I prayed for it simply to be over.
But as the fantasy gods would have it, I would hold onto a solid lead through the last week — despite several of my players not playing in preparation of their own playoffs. In the pitching category, I was even more terrified due to the fact my opponent had the miraculous Zack Grienke — who gave my opponent two wins, 18 Ks, a 2.37 ERA and 1.16 WHIP. Yet, I swept the pitching categories, took two of the offensive categories and split a third — once more proving that pitching wins championships!!!

Seattle Mariners starting pitcher Felix Hernandez points to home Sunday after striking out Texas Rangers' Taylor Teagarden to end the top of the second inning in Seattle. (AP Photo)

I had an ace of my own carrying me to glory — Felix Hernandez. King Felix, who rightfully deserves the nickname now, got me three wins, 21 Ks, a 2.82 ERA and a WHIP of 1.07. That combined with Jair Jurrjens’ two wins, 14 Ks, 1.23 ERA and 1.00 WHIP along with Jake Peavy’s two victories, 13 Ks, 0.00 ERA and 0.80 WHIP

Hernandez did me right. But he is having to share the MVP with somebody else. First baseman Joey Votto, whose two-week line reads: 14 runs, 3 homers, 12 RBI and .489 average was the top performance in those four offensive categories.

The performance of my entire team proved that this year, we truly were the the funkiest bunch.

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